The desire for seld transformation is often rooted in escapism and delusion - where one thinks that “If I pursue this, I will be happy”, where you sacrifice the present moment for some illusory elusive future.
‘’He painted a very feeble picture when he spoke of himself, a practice that was humorously meant, but that bellied, nevertheless, an excessively vulnerable self-conception. For he measured all his actions by a private standard of perfection, and laboured in service of this standard; as a consequence he was never really satisfied with any of his efforts, or with their results, and tended, in general, towards defeatism.” - The Luminaries
If you are really good with it it might work, but what is the damn point? We can all spot from a mile away when someone is trying to take something from us or sell us something. Even if we can’t put our finger on it exactly, we sense something is up. And then we are just waiting for the confirmation moment. “Aha! I knew it!”
If improving in one thing is incongruous with improving in another, one can lose integrity. If you mimic the mannerisms of your role models, you can end up as a bizarre pastiche of different people, including yourself.
For certain aspects of life, and arguably the only worthy ones, pursuing them as a conscious goal is the very thing that ensures that you do not reach there. These include, for example: authenticiy, “being yourself”, happiness, wichanging someone’s feelings about you, spontaneity etc. Many desirable states are best pursued indirectly, and conscious thought and effortful striving can actually interfere with their attainment. Trying Not To Try